“To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.”—
I’m tired of being so damn indecisive and so inwardly contradcitory. I guess I’ve got to learn how to make up my mind and follow it with ease but my mind is just not used to working that way. I weigh every option, look at every possible consequence, and stand there shifting back and forth then wonder what if right when I’ve decided something.
So I came into work this morning and sat down in my supervisor’s office to talk to her about the weekend and stuff like that. Just some nice chitchat and it was going well until I heard a slight scratchy noise and felt movement on my hair. I felt it again and isntantly freaked the hell out, brushing off whatever was giving me the creeps. Then I look on the floor and there’s a friggin papa cockroach on the floor and then I realized it had been on me so I screamed. It crawled under my supervisor’s desk and after a minute of searching for it she finally saw it too. We got raid and sprayed that vile creature down. It was disgusting. I was more creeped out by the fact that it crawled on me.
They’re such small creatures yet they have such an amazing power of instilling fear in humans. The whole day I’ve been at my desk feeling paranoid. I keep thinking things are crawling on me.
These are some of the Little Things in Life that I do not enjoy. At all.
This is my little peeve with people who are so desperately trying to be different and stand out.
If you’re struggling to be different. It’s not worth it.
If you’re looking for something different just to be “different” then you’re not at all. There’s a million others doing the same thing.
Once you say “I’m different from anyone else.” You’ve automatically screwed yourself.
Seriously, just do you. And whether that’s different from the norm or not doesn’t matter so much anymore because its the best fit for you.
Humans can’t help putting people into categories. It’s just our nature. Sure we want to break out of the mold, be special, someone who doesn’t follow all of the dumb social norms. And that’s fine. But it’s those people that think they need to be different instead of just being themselves that in a way gets to me.
You’re you. Whoever you are. If you like the newest band that hit mainstream or those ones still struggling underground that’s fine too. As long as you like because you like it. There’s a thin line between forming yourself to fit who you are and forming yourself to fit the different, which has started to become a norm in itself.
I just feel like its better for people to know you because of you. They know your name because of who you are, not because you stand out. I know I’m kind of ranting and I might not make that much sense and if you don’t want to listen to me, cool as long as that’s you :) But I’m just saying—it’s not so bad sometimes to be not so different.
I have got to tell myself, be productive! you can do it! but i dont want to. I just want to curl up in my bed sheets cause for some reason it’s cold in my apartment and sleep the night away like I’m old and wise. I know I can get into the flow of work. I just got to dig deep within myself for the spurt of motivation, right? Right. Except for the fact that I’m too lazy to dig deep down there, and so I shall remain as screwed as ever.
“only Beauty is at one and the same time divinely desirable and visible: it is, mark well, the only form of the spiritual that we can receive with our senses and endure with our senses.”—Thomas Mann in Death in Venice